Being the man that I am, I had a traditional male treatment called Tok Batin. It takes three hours, and costs RM600 ($169). After taking off my clothes, I dove into a hot tea bath in an old-fashioned tub, where I soaked for 30 minutes. The attendant brought over a tray filled with kaffir limes and sugar crystals. Both were to be rubbed on my elbows. There was also a dish of ground-up tea leaves to rub on my face, a glass of iced tea and a refreshing towel. After doing my rubbing chores I was given a pillow, tea bags for my eyes and noise reduction headphones. I laid back and listened to soothing music. After 30 minutes I was escorted to the chill room, where the therapist placed a heated, heart-shaped rice bag on my chest. I waited patiently until my masseuse came to get me. Once in the massage room she handed me some paper underwear. Yes! I got to wear these things one last time (here’s a picture of how stylish they looked on me). It didn’t matter how uncomfortable they were, because my treatment was that good. It began with hot towels on my feet, then progressed to the best body scrub ever (not that I get very many). The main ingredient was – you guessed it -- crushed tea leaves. They did a fantastic job of removing all my dead skin. She then wrapped me completely in warm towels, as if I was a mummy. As I lay there with only my head exposed, she gave me a head massage. She then put me in a portable steamer. The last step was a shower. I didn’t want to leave, so I took my sweet time sipping hot tea and eating biscuits with different jams. I am now officially spoiled.